i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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