shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
