dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she smelled like a LAN party
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
