If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
