That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
