I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
