But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize