how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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