but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
