return my video game
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
