i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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