We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
