Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
