Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
