You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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