We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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