Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
