Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i don't like sucking hair
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
