What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
