Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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