operation harelip BJ is a go
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
