I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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