Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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