Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
