I met the friendliest cop last night
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
