You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My breasts were aching with rage.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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