I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Let's paint friendship bongs
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
