My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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