Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
