You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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