dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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