is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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