p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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