I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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