By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
So many bounce houses so little time
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize