He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
