She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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