3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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