do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
