At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
