Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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