I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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