nut hugger
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
