the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
