I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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