She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
not ubering you a puppy
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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