Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
