if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
