My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
