I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
