Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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