She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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