you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
