At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I am spending my child support on dildos
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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