bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
