You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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