How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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