dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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