I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
