plz talk dirty to me
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Oh god it's open bar.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
