I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
