Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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