bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
