Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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