So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
