spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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