she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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