genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So much rum. So many feels.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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