i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
