Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
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