i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The uberlube is also flammable
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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