she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
